Satan Cafe

You are happily married with children. You have a great job. You are a leader in your church and community. Everything should be wonderful, but it’s not. Your closet skeletons hold you captive. Some people never allow you to forget your past sins (they seem to conveniently overlook all the good you do). You attempt to make everyone happy, but you can’t. You feel tears running down your face. Will you ever be accepted?

Do you have a few skeletons in your closet? Is it holding you back from your happiness? Some people are so obsessed with the past deeds of others that they cannot allow them to live in the present. You can see this obsession in all walks of life. Just look around…you see it in the workplace. A manager won’t allow his employees to express their ideas because he can’t trust anyone. He doesn’t want to give up any control. What are the consequences of his action? No new ideas, low morale, and no real teamwork! Don’t think it’s only in the business community. You see it even in the religious world. A church, for example, continues to go through pastors like changing clothes. The church’s future is crippled by the past hurt of a previous pastor. What are the consequences of this action? The church becomes trapped in its own prison because it can never move forward while looking back.

Why can’t people just let it go? Some use the past as a punishment tool while others use it to fuel their negativism. These people create a mystical measuring stick to judge folks. They stand unspotted, however, while looking at the dirt on others. Jesus understood that people tend to forget their own shortcomings. He said, “For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged…Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye, and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye.” Many people overlook their past when making judgments. It is a fatal human flaw. You should keep this in mind when people try and judge you from past circumstances. Don’t allow this to hinder you from achieving your goals. Here are some suggestions:

1. Learn to forgive yourself first.

2. Take control and don’t let others hold you captive for past deeds.

3. Take responsibility. Accept the situation and any consequences.

4. Surround yourself by positive people.

5. Accept the fact that you can’t please everyone.

Don’t allow the past to hurt your decision-making ability. Use the past as a reference source for a new life. Individuals make mistakes yet some people find it easy to find fault. Dale Carnegie, author of How to Win Friends & Influence People, said, “Criticism is futile because it puts a person on the defensive and usually makes him strive to justify himself. Criticism is dangerous, because it wounds a person’s precious pride, hurts his sense of importance, and arouses resentment.” Accept negative remarks as one small blip in your positive life. Learn from past mistakes and share your experience. You could save others unnecessary grief. Don’t be a slave to your past. Start today and let go of your life’s baggage.

Daryl D. Green has published over 100 articles in the field of decision-making (personal and organizational), leadership, and organizational behavior. Mr. Green is also the author of two acclaimed books, Awakening the Talents Within and My Cup Runneth Over. He is a columnist, lecturer, professor, and management consultant. Mr. Green has a BS in engineering and a MA in organizational management. Currently, he is pursuing a doctoral degree in strategic leadership. For more information, please email Mr. Green at pmla@att.net or visit his website at http://www.darylgreen.org